Journey to Self by Sudhanshu Verma

Journey to Self by Sudhanshu Verma
Journey to Self by Sudhansu Verma

Day 17/365

" Mene bohot se aise insaan dekhe h jinke badan par libaas nai hota ,  
Or bohot se aise libaas dekhe h jinke andar insaan nahi hota"

Few days back I was watching Satyamev Jayte's episode and discussion was on gay's society in India. How they are being ignored and called different from humans.
I was really shocked to see the result, how they are treated in our society, they have been called unnaturally born and inhuman.
We all are beautiful creatures of god. There should be no discrimination at all. But the truth is something else.

About this picture, 
Well few day's back one of my friend came to my place with Diwali wishes and some eagerness to know more bout me. I have never been afraid of telling people what i am ? in short I don't know how to fake it. So we went upstairs to do some talk talk. In my view this guy already earn some respect because he is working for some NGO.
So he started asking me about my gender ? He asked Are you gay Sudhanshu ? Me- I humbly said naaah! What makes you think like that ?
He was laughing all the time.. as for him being gay is the funniest thing in the world, even i am not a gay, I still felt that pain inside of being a gay and someone laughs on your face just like  don't deserve to be in this society.
He again insisted me to say i m a gay, so that he can laugh for a day or his whole life.
At that time i was trying to figure out what makes him think like that ?
" Then he mentioned that my facebook profile says im interested in men . I realised by mistake yes it says that i am interested in men but and i was unaware of this mistake.  But this is disturbing that if a man is interested in men , it turns out to be a matter of humiliation and the term ' gay ' as an offense.

Not too later , one more incident shook me deep inside.  I was on my way to office in metro and my ears couldn't help but stuck between a conversation two men were having about homosexuality. I heard them talking about gays as if it was a discussion on terrorists . They said someday gays will unite as a gang and will create  destruction and will keep  their gormless demands in front of the government for greater autonomy. The discussion turned out to be warmer and offensive  when the men stated their opinion that the gays have no right to live and they are inhuman.  ' they should be treated and beaten with iron rods ' he added . I couldn't believe what i heard . I literally had goosebumps and felt terrible to see such extent of cruelty.  The rage inside me would have burst out but I realised i was too weak and alone to fight such corrupted souls around me.  I had no choice but to keep silence.  I was helpless.
I didn't give a second thought before sharing these incidents with you all.  But i want you to give a second and third thought before creating prejudice and a stereotype image against homosexuality. 
No i am not a gay but i am human and gays are humans too , just as you are. 
Amen.

Day 16/365

Isolation is essential to discover myself.
Going through the days when I am trying to find out the real me which was lost few years back, the real art in me, The creative worm desperate to come out and turn into something incredible. I hope I will find it soon.

Day 15/365

Lights around me.
"Lights around me" is related to the decoration of Diwali lights in my city Jaipur.
Well, it was the last day of Diwali celebration, i went out and found this beautiful lights very well decorated on a tree and not to forget the text on wall says "JAI GURU DEV"


Day 13/365

"the more pure , the more vulnerable you are;
You are made of dust , he was made of fire;
The light is inside you ;
The darkness surrounds you.
There are wolfs all around ,
Be the lamb ,
or be the tiger. " - Nimisha Verma
A fight within me, With me. Pure over the corrupted one. This picture is based on my personal experience, which I daily face. sometimes you can't deny or stop being around negative vibes. But you can stop yourself taking such vibes by fighting the bad in you. have you ever noticed ? your eyes are more fond of bad things, as compared to good one.

Diwali'14

  1. Diwali or Divali also known as Deepavali and the "festival of lights", is an ancient Hindu festival celebrated in autumn every year. The festival spiritually signifies the victory of light over darkness, knowledge over ignorance, good over evil, and hope over despair.